Roll up your windows

typed for your pleasure on 25 December 2006, at 2.46 am

Sdtrk: ‘With every heartbeat’ by Robyn (feat. Kleerup)

WARNING: I’m subjecting you to another one of my dreams.

Steve (a former roommate), Marika (Shi-chan’s Organik sister), and I (me) were driving in my car to some motel, for some reason or other. The temperature outside was warm but not too unpleasant, so I’d had my rear windows down halfway. After pulling into the parking lot, we all got out; I was going to make reservations, and while that was occuring, Steve said he was going to go do something, and Mari was going to hit the adjacent Sunoco for something to drink. ‘Right, we’ll meet back in ten minutes,’ I said. So I headed into the hotel office — it was rather dingy, and it reminded me of one of those office trailers that you see on construction sites. Also, it seemed that no-one there was under the age of seventy. I went up the six or so steps and entered; the office was small and custard-coloured, but had a clear view of the parking lot. I saw the manager and his wife, who again had to be too old to be doing what they were doing, and I’d said, ‘I’d like to reserve a room please…’ then in looking out the window over the manager’s shoulder, I spotted a woman and her two sons. Their car was parked next to mine, and the mother had simply opened my left rear door, and pulled out a large framed Evangelion poster from my backseat. She was speaking to her two sons, who looked to be around six and ten, and they were nodding approvingly.
‘Ah, excuse me, I’ll be right back, someone’s, uh, taking something out of my car…’ I then bolted to where she was — she had just placed my poster in her back seat and was getting her kids back in the car, and I have to add that none of them were in any great hurry, bizarrely enough.
‘Ahh, what the fuck are you doing with my poster?’ I’d said to the mum. She was probably about 4’10”; I somehow sussed that she and her kids might’ve been Filipino.
‘Oh, uh, I’m sorry,’ she replied. She wasn’t freaked out or anything; she seemed slightly embarrassed, but it was more as if she was just inconvenienced. I reached into the back of her sedan and pulled out my poster, and also, without being seen at all, I spotted an LP on the backseat and took that, hiding it beneath my poster.
As she and her sons were getting in, I remarked, ‘You might want to get out of here before I call the cops.’ She turned backwards in her seat to reverse, and while she was engaging in that, I managed to surreptitiously break off her left side wing mirror.

Steve & Mari came back a couple of minutes later; I told them what happened, and they were aghast. ‘One of you has to stay with the car now,’ I’d mentioned, ‘while I go and get these reservations taken care of. ‘I’ll do it,’ replied Mari, and Steve followed with ‘I’m done, so I’ll stay here too.’ So I headed back into the office, which now contained around seven or eight other old people; most were milling around, but a couple were seated on a bed without sheets which was in the back corner of the already-cramped office.
‘Sorry about that,’ I’d said to the manager, ‘Someone was stealing something right out of my car.’
‘Yeah, there’s been a lot of that lately,’ he replied. ‘Times are rough these days, you know?’

So yeah! No idea what to make of that. As per usual. It’s a shame I didn’t realise it was a dream, as I could’ve laid a spinning piledriver on that mum; that would’ve been amusing.

In the meantime, Happy holidays, you ingrates. 🙂 Go listen to the new Ricky Gervais podcast!

Random similar posts, for more timewasting:

'In the future there will be robots' on January 8th, 2009

'On the whole, I'd rather be in bed' on June 29th, 2005

3 have spoken to “Roll up your windows”

  1. SafeTinspector writes:

    So it was a dream? That deflated all my joy from the experience of reading it. Well…maybe not ALL my joy. You got to see old people multiple asexually, and that’s really something.

    Had a dream where my dead grampa called my up on my cell phone and told me he knew a man who had a 1955 DeSoto for sale. At least, it sounded like my Grampa. When I excitedly asked who he was he refused to answer. What the hell does Grampa want? Where is this DeSoto?

  2. SafeTinspector writes:

    multiplY not multiplE, you stupid idiot.

  3. Davecat writes:

    EEdiot, not Idiot, you mean. 🙂
    Well, sometimes people call from beyond the veil! There’s not a whole lot we can do to stop it. Didn’t your grandpa bequeath his DeSoto to you in real life?

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