Sdtrk: something from the Otogi sdtrk

In looking over a recent set of stats for visitors to ‘Shouting etc etc’, I’d spotted the efforts of some poor misguided tosser’s search:

Gods, how I laughed. A ‘cure’ for robot fetishism?? What good could possibly become of that?? Their silly question aside, that individual couldn’t have been looking in a more inappropriate place…

In light of that, Sweetie’s got another couple of videos uploaded o’er on her Dailymotion page for your perusal, the link being nestled atop this site beneath the title banner, as per usual. Yes, you have to register in order to see them, as all of the clips are considered ‘explicit content’ — despite the fact that ‘explicit’ apparently means ‘look out: bOObies‘, and most of the clips don’t even feature that — but at least it’s not YouTube.* Happy 23rd!

*Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed that if you consistently read YouTube comments, you can actually feel yourself losing IQ points? Not since the heyday of AOL have I seen a larger confluence of misspellings and general shitwickery. And that’s saying a lot

Sdtrk: ‘Fluorescent grey’ by Deerhunter

Not having paid any previous attention to the Japanese Doll company make pure, as their models hold no appeal for me, I was pleasantly surprised when I learned of their brand-new Synthetik companion, Deep ~L~. Very pleasantly surprised. Wow.

N.B.: not actually enrolled in classes

Babelfish comes to the rescue (or as Babelfish itself would say, ‘Babelfish comes for the rescue’) with this translation of the newspost that tipped me off to Deep ~L~:

Adult doll Deep~L~. compact with the height 130cm, having got big breasts, and complete & figure and atmosphere, too the homepage of make pure. It drank and the page joined. ｢The maximum feature is a groin part. The device that not is before though it is a hall type is given. ｣ To our regret, the details are being controlled voluntarily.

‘It drank and the page joined’. Noted!
Granted, make pure’s new lass is flat-out luscious, no question, but there’s something familiar about her appearance. I couldn’t put my finger on it, until I visited 4chan’s Sexy beautiful women sub-board, and it hit me like a ton of silicone bricks after seeing a certain thread — they’ve gone and made half-Filipino half-French model and unstoppable sexbomb Leah Dizon. A grand choice!

Left, Leah; right, Deep ~L~

You can now have your very own Leah Dizon. This, then, is proof that we are truly living in the Golden Age! One wonders if she’s aware of this, though. If not, you’d be well advised to get your orders in for the Dolls as soon as they announce it before she activates her lawyers

Technorati tags: Leah Dizon

Sdtrk: ‘Menta’ by Sutcliffe Jügend

In hanging out with the lads on a Saturday eve a few months ago, we had to stop at a wine store (really, it was more like a party store with higher aspirations, but they’ll have to work much harder, as they’re located in Macomb county) for some drinkies. In browsing their beverages selection, we’d noticed a couple of metal tubs filled with these bizarre articles:

The Missus thought it tasted awful as well. And technically,
she has no tastebuds

Yes, it is exactly what it appears to be — water in a bag, under the unsettling name of ‘Pure Pouch’. We should be thankful that they didn’t decide to go with what was probably their first name choice, ‘Water In A Bag’, as you really wouldn’t be able to get much more bog-standard than that if you tried. Now that I think about it, yes you could; ever see the film ‘Repo man’? All the grocery stores were stocked with the most generic of foodstuffs and dry goods: every single item was packaged in a white container with a light blue stripe and a generic serif typeface proclaiming ‘Cereal’, ‘Baked Beans’, ‘Tissue Paper’, etc etc.

‘HEY! He’s talking to jooooo’

Pure Pouch’s packaging is far too ornate compared to that sort of thing. That’s a point in their favour, I guess.

What spasm of anti-creativity produced this? Did the boss of Waterco. Inc. suddenly say one day, ‘We’ve got all this water just sitting there in our many enormous storage tanks; what the living hell are we gonna do with all of it??’ *sees employee sipping a Capri Sun, snaps fingers* ‘WE’LL PUT IT IN BAGS AND SELL IT!! BY GOD, THAT’S WHAT WE’LL DO!! IT’S A LICENCE TO PRINT MONEY!!’ Then he fires the bloke drinking the Capri Sun, cos that’d be like having a Pepsi while working at the Coca-cola plant.
It’s like I always say: find a niche and fill it; if there isn’t a niche, make one and then fill it. And yet I bought a Pure Pouch! Technically, I bought four, as they were four for $1. Ehh, that dollar wasn’t doing me any good anyways. But it does remind one of the old saw ‘What does Evian spell backwards?’

Unfortunately, much as you’d expect, the water tastes like plastic bag. Not a positive selling point. Later that eve, I gave one to SafeTinspector, who emptied his at an alarming speed, and I took the other two home in order to study them further. Did I leave one in goshou’s van by accident? *thinks* Do I really care at this point?
Perhaps I’ll freeze the ones I have, relabel them (using a Sharpie), and sell them as Ice Pouch! Ahh, the entrepreneurial spirit is truly unstoppabubble.

O, and in case you’re keeping score, this would be the second time I’ve written about brackish, unappetising water

Sdtrk: ‘Where were you?’ by the Mekons

This is so cute, it’s giving me cavities.

‘Exact change? Stitch that, I’ve got a bus pass’

Mystery cat takes regular bus to the shops
Daily Mail | 9th April 2007

Bus drivers have nicknamed a white cat Macavity after it has started using the No 331 several mornings a week.

The feline, which has a purple collar, gets onto the busy Walsall to Wolverhampton bus at the same stop most mornings – he then jumps off at the next stop 400m down the road, near a fish and chip shop.

The cat was nicknamed Macavity after the mystery cat in T.S Elliot’s poem. He gets on the bus in front of a row of 1950s semi-detached houses and jumps off at a row of shops down the road which include a fish and chip shop.

Driver Bill Khunkhun, 49, who first saw the cat jumping from the bus in January, said: “It is really odd, the first time I saw the cat jumping off the bus with a group of passengers. I hadn’t seen it get on which was a bit confusing.

“The next day I pulled up on Churchill Road to let a couple of passengers on. As soon as I opened the doors the cat ran towards the bus, jumped on and ran under one of the seats, I don’t think any of the passengers noticed.

“Because I had seen it jump off the day before I carried on driving and sure enough when I stopped just down the road he jumped off – I don’t know why he would catch the bus but he seems to like it. I told some of the other drivers on this route and they have seen him too.”
the rest of the article is here

I love the shot of Macavity in the top left corner. He’s like ‘What? What??‘ Plus, he’s heterochromatic — he has one blue eye and one green eye. He’s a David Bowie kitty!

You have to ask yourself: what would possess a cat to not only take the bus on a regular basis, but make the same stops? It’s apparent that the entire concept of animal intelligence is vastly understudied. My guess is that he’s saving up for driving lessons

Sdtrk: ‘Underground library’ by Moon wiring club

Apparently the architects of Singapore like to play fast and loose with Mistress Fate. Observe:

*facepalms*

Far East Organization, Singapore’s largest private development company, has commissioned the Office for Metropolitan Architecture for OMA’s first architectural project in Singapore – a 36-storey residential high-rise. […] With 20,000m² of built floor area, the building will provide 68 high-end apartment units with panoramic views. The design strategically maneuvers within the highly regulated building environment to maximize the full potential of the site: Four individual apartment towers are vertically offset from one another and suspended from a central core.
taken from this site

I have to be honest — this proposed Scotts Tower looks rather fab, but it also looks like a Seventies disaster film just waiting to happen.

“THE SCOTTS TOWER CATASTROPHE”

starring

Peter Fonda

Suzanne Somers

Dick Van Dyke

Dyan Cannon

Avery Schreiber

and Gig Young as “Paddock”

© 1973 A QUINN-MARTIN PRODUCTION

Nice place to visit, wouldn’t want to live there, that sort of thing. There but for the grace of god go Singapore, I guess…
Also, if you recognise any of those names in the film cast, you’re too old

ta very much to KrazyQ for the tipoff

Sdtrk: ‘La fille à la moto’ by Dani

A lot of times I doubt the validity of these online tests, but I think they pegged this’un:

the Wit

You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you’re probably an intellectual, but don’t take that to mean pretentious. You realize ‘dumb’ can be witty — after all isn’t that the Simpsons’ philosophy? — but rudeness for its own sake, ‘gross-out’ humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat. I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer. Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it’s also the best, in my opinion. You probably loved the Office. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, check it out here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart – Woody Allen – Ricky Gervais

It’s true; I do love the comic stylings of Ricky Gervais. But what thinking individual doesn’t?
I have to say though; I’ve no idea why I’d scored higher than 99% on darkness, spontaneity, and vulgarity. Wouldn’t higher than 99% of vulgarity make me the bastard lovechild of John Belushi, Adam Sandler and Andrew Dice Clay? Hideous, hideous.
Apart from that, I’d completely agree. Plus, I really like the cube graphic. It lends the test a certain gravitas.

I also have to add; I actually took this test almost a year ago, and couldn’t really post it to my old blog, as the code for the layout was a hassle to alter, that graphic was too damned big, and the text in the graphic was too fine for me to reduce the pic size to any degree of readability. Now that I’ve switched to WP, it’s not as huge and obnoxious. You can place the blame squarely on Quizilla. It’s code like that that makes Myspace pages look like fucking trainwrecks.
Well, obviously, that’s not the only thing that makes Myspace pages look like shite, but you know what I mean

Sdtrk: ‘Whitetail woods’ by Oakeater

*mops brow* Looks like we’re back up for now. In case you’ve not noticed, ‘Shouting etc etc’ has been up and down for the past day and a half. My ISP hosts are supposedly right now making their fell sacrifices to whatever dark and eldritch gods in order to suss everything once and for all. Hey — I don’t ask questions when it comes to that sort of thing, I just let ’em do what they have to do.

Access may be sporadic, but in the interim until the next dazzling post, go… err.. go look at Outpost Gallifrey or something. It’s twelve minutes past my bedtime, and I got nothin’