Seven sevens

typed for your pleasure on 31 January 2006, at 11.28 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Laetitia’ by The Summer hits

AAAGHH SAFETINSPECTOR TAGGED ME HORRIBLE FLESH-EATING MEME YEARGH ETC.

Name 7 films.
In no particular order,
+ if…. (1968): Malcolm McDowell plays teenaged rebel Mick Travis, as he and his two mates run riot within and without an English public school. From fencing on the street with imaginary foils, to plotting assassinations on the school faculty, Mick is the perfect model of a cunning sociopath
+ Trainspotting (1996): Being the adventures of young Scots lad Mark Renton, as he strives to develop a relationship with a lass named Diane. O, also he and his mates are hopelessly addicted to heroin. Say what you will about them, though, but they’re a charismatic bunch of tossers.. Also contains a lovely soundtrack, and is eminently quotable
+ Koroshiya Ichi (2001): The film that turned me on to Takashi Miike, it features several doomed yakuza, the luscious Alien Sun, a pair of completely insane twin detectives, a masochist with his face covered in scars, and a weeping, onanistic killing machine. I still have idle dreams of cosplaying as Ichi one day, blades-in-boots and everything
+ Withnail and I (1987): Two out-of-work actors — one mildly paranoid, the other fantastically drunk — decide to take a holiday in the English countryside during the last year of the Sixties. Hilarity ensues! Eminently quotable
+ A clockwork orange (1971): Kubrick. Burgess. McDowell. Seventies dystopian England. Beethoven filtered through Carlos. Ultraviolence. ‘I was cured, all right.’ Fucking winner
+ M (1931): I remember first seeing this in film class back in the Nineties; unfortunately, I hadn’t had enough sleep, and nodded off like two minutes into it. I awoke shortly before the heads of Berlin’s underworld have Hans (Peter Lorre) trapped in the building, and were trying their best to find him before the cops got to him first. As that part really captivated me, I rented it the next day to watch it from start to finish. It was then that I realised that from that point in the film onward, that that was the most intense sequence of a film I’d ever seen, and the preceding parts, although not as tense, were just as gripping. And I’ll tell you — the final scene still gives me shivers every single time I see it
+ Barbarella (1968): Jane Fonda, in her sexalicious pre-Hanoi Jane days, flying across the outer edges of the Universe in pursuit of mad scientist Durand Durand, frequently changing outfits and making sexy time with various individuals. All this, and a soundtrack by The Glitterhouse and The Bob Crewe Generation? Yes

Name 7 books.
I have mixed both Fiction and Fact! Cos actually, most of the books I own are either non-fiction, or reference.
+ Flann O’Brien’s The Third policeman: Probably gets my award for Funniest Surrealist Novel Ever. How does one avoid becoming a bicycle? Can a conscience speak to a person, and have conversations with them? Who is in charge of all the one-legged men in Ireland? Where is the location of Infinity, and how does it operate? Don’t worry, it all makes ‘sense’ in the end
+ Martin Amis’ Dead babies: A group of fabulously degenerate individuals spend an interesting couple of days in a spacious manor in the country. And by ‘interesting’, I mean ‘bold new illegal drugs’, ‘frothing sex parties’, ‘systematic dehumanisation’, ‘shitting down the neighbour’s chimney’ and ‘a metric ton of “the fear”‘. There’s murder; of course. But it’s all done with style!
+ Andy Warhol’s THE Philosophy of Andy Warhol: ‘I have no memory. Every day is a new day because I don’t remember the day before. Every minute is like the first minute of my life. I try to remember but I can’t. That’s why I got married — to my tape recorder. That’s why I seek out people with minds like tape recorders to be with. My mind is like a tape recorder with one button — erase.’
+ George Plimpton’s Edie: Utterly compelling biography of Andy Warhol’s most well-known starlet, as told by family members and friends. Reading it is like viewing a time-lapse film of a cosmic star coming into existence, then growing brighter and brighter, and then finally winking out
+ Albert Camus’ The stranger: Nihilism at its best, and one of the few things that was required reading in highschool that I still enjoy today. Also inspired a certain young man from Crawley to write a famously mis-interpreted song
+ Simon Ford’s Wreckers of civilisation: A fantastic history about the origins and history of Throbbing gristle, the grandfathers (and grandmother) of Industrial music
+ J.D Salinger’s Catcher in the rye: Whereas ‘The stranger’ amplified the ultimate futility of all things, ‘Catcher in the rye’ told me that most everything out there is shit, but there are a precious few things that are worth treasuring. Plus, the simple fact that Jerome David Salinger has managed to remain as reclusive as he is, while still being respected and revered, is equally inspiring

Name 7 city things you like
+ Marina City, Chicago: How cities should be built — vertically, not horizontally
+ Nakagin Capsule tower, Tokyo: Beautiful outside, beautiful and compact inside. Brilliant
+ Subway systems (I picked the ones from Toronto, as they’re the only ones I’ve ever ridden): There’s just something about the architecture of subway stations, coupled with the (relative) efficiency of underground trains. The greenish cast of the fluorescent lighting, the chrome on the subway cars, the many sounds — all of it brings a smile to my face
+ Airports. See ‘Subway systems’ above
+ Multi-storey car parks. There are two kinds of car parks: either you have the grey utilitarian ones that are more commonplace now, or you’ve got the older ones with the dull tarmac floors. Both are ace, as far as I’m concerned. There’s a certain something about car parks — they’re structures that aren’t really built to house people, they’re built to house vehicles — and I find that really Ballardian fascinating
+ Eaton centre, Toronto: You have to understand; I despise malls. By and large, they don’t really carry what I want, and there’s always too many damn people. But Eaton centre has a special charm for me. You might say that it’s only due to the fact that it’s in downtown T.O, but it’s more than that.. I love the way its architecture looks. Glass and metal, metal and glass. If you were to bring someone forward through time, from the Crystal Palace at the Great Exhibition of 1851, to contemporary Eaton centre, they wouldn’t bat an eye. Well, maybe they would. In fact, the shock might well kill ’em. But then, you’d simply go downstairs to Sushi-Q and order a box of inari, and have a seat in the spacious food court, whilst everyone milled round upstairs, wondering why there was a dead person from the 19th Century on the floor. Mmm, inari!
+ And everyone loves the giant motorised crab on the front of Kani Doraku in Osaka. (Here’s a picture with a better sense of scale)

Name 7 things you wanna do before you die
+ 2-week tour of Japan
+ 2-week tour of the UK
+ Visit either Osaka Labs or Kokoro co. Ltd, to meet with Actroid-chan
+ See the Jaquet-Droz kids in Neuchâtel, Switzerland
+ Drive Sidore-chan and myself around in a vintage Fiat 500L or a pre-2002 Mini Cooper
+ Collaborate with Merzbow
+ Visit Oscar Wilde’s grave at Père-Lachaise cemetery in France

Name 7 things you wish you could do but can’t
+ Fly
+ Become invisible at will
+ Phase through solid matter, or allow solid matter to phase through me
+ Stop time
+ Travel forwards or backwards through time at will
+ Create sundry items out of raw matter with naught but my mind
+ Algebra. Err, strike that, reverse it. Wishing I could do algebra is really a waste of a wish

Name 7 things you typically say
+ ‘For feck’s sake’
+ ‘Actually’ (used far, far too much)
+ ‘Rather’
+ ‘Sweet baby James!’ or some variant thereof
+ ‘Cunt’ (used mostly at work)
+ ‘Well done!’
+ ‘YESSU’

Name 7 people you are tagging.
+ As typically explained,
+ people by and large seem to
+ despise being tagged. But if
+ you really want me to brand you
+ with this meme, merely leave
+ a charming message in the
+ comments below

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Unacceptable. UNACCEPTABLE!!

typed for your pleasure on 28 January 2006, at 12.45 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Vitamin C’ by Can

Sony, ordinarily you are a fine corporate giant, but this time you really dropped the ball.

Sony killed AIBO and QRIO?

Well wouldn’t you know it, not even a day after receiving what’s possibly the biggest validation of robotic companions since Petster saved little Timmy from a burning barn back in ’86, it looks like news is surfacing that in Sony’s Q305 fiscal reports they have intentions and supposedly already ceased developing AIBO and QRIO, Engadget’s most beloved of all canine and humanoid robots, respectively. At the risk of sounding terribly insensitive, somehow the prospect of AIBO and QRIO dying actually makes us more heartsick than the news of the 10,000 some-odd jobs Stringer cut reorganizing the electronics giant. Sony, say it ain’t so, say it ain’t so!

P.S. -When Sony America wakes up this morning we’ll be placing some calls.

I would hope that they’ve not done this cos they decided they should be working on more videogame consoles. I mean, Odhinn knows I love my PS2, but I think society’s alright for videogame system technology – between the upcoming PS3 and the XBOLLOX 360, there’s not a whole lot more that can be done as far as console graphics – but what needs to be developed and refined are more personal robots. Videogames are all well and good, but robotics are more of a technological achievement that, in theory, should move society forward towards Being Better.
Also worth reading is that link, err.. linked.. above, concerning the biggest validation of robots.. o, nevermind, I’ll reproduce it here.

Study finds robot pets as good as live ones

If you’ve been telling everyone how you and your Aibo have bonded and have had to endure their looks of shock, relax, you’re not a freak. (Well, at least not because of your Aibo friendship. We can’t comment on any of your other bizarre habits.) Researchers at Purdue University’s veterinary school have found that robo-pets can be as good at providing companionship as live ones. The researchers gave one group of children and teenagers Aibos and another group real pets, and then questioned them on their interactions. Seventy percent of the Aibo users said that the robot dog could be a good companion. The researchers also lent Aibos to a group of senior citizens, who found that they were less depressed and lonely after playing with them. We suspect that all the good cheer had at least something to do with not having to feed or clean up after the bots and the fact that you can yank their batteries when they get too yappy.

That bit of news was nice enough to read, but then I’d noticed that the study didn’t take place in Japan, as I’d initially thought — it was over at Purdue, which hopefully means that Japan’s love of Artifice is gaining ground in the States. Hoorej!

Okay, Osaka Labs and Kokoro co. Ltd., the opportunity window is wiiide open — I want to see an Actroid in every home before 2008. And for those homes that don’t want an Actroid, you can just send them round to mine.
But honestly, Sony — what were you thinking? You aren’t thinking, that’s the problem. And yes, I did want an AIBO of my very own. Not much chance of that now, eh Sony? Wankers

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Speak of the sexpot

typed for your pleasure on 4 January 2006, at 11.34 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Here comes the Love Gang’ by the Raveonettes


Rather nice kimono, missy

There’ve been quite a few entries in various blogs having to do with Actroid-san recently, as a cursory whirl on Technorati will show you. Going by the ones that have a handful of new pics, it looks like the DER version of My Favourite Gynoid made a recent appearance somewhere. Only problem is, as of this writing, none of the blogs are in English — they’re in Spanish, which is Greek to me. (note pun)

I have to get to the bottom of this. I must know what new Actroid news there is out there.
Or I could just wait a couple of days until someone makes a post in English, I suppose

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Dual Doll upDate

typed for your pleasure on 4 December 2005, at 1.13 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Eleanor put your boots on’ by Franz Ferdinand

Yes, the title’s a pathetic grasp at something or other, you’ll have to excuse me.

Remember my mention of 4woods’ new A.I.NEO series? Well, the esteemed Ta-bo-san of ‘Ta-bo’s Kisekae dataroom’ has a new report up. Actually he’s got several reports on her up. The man certainly goes the distance. 🙂
Remember; if you can’t read Japanese, break out that Babelfish, and savvy Firefox users will already know about the lovely Translation panel extension..

And as I’ve just now sussed how to effectively use YouSendIt to my own twisted ends, I now present to you a brief .avi file of the Robot station MC version of Actroid-chan waving to her adoring crowds. The file will be up for seven days, so grab it immediatement. Hooray for YouSendIt!
DOWNLOAD: Actroid-chan waving (link has expired)

And on a completely unrelated note, I bought new pillows last night. It’s amazing what wonders the humble pillow can do for one’s sleeping

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A little more Sexy Gynoid Race Queen in your life

typed for your pleasure on 30 November 2005, at 11.39 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Deep down’ by Christy

I just feel that I have to step in here and add, without any trace of self-aggrandising whatsoever, that ‘Shouting etc etc’ began covering this, y’know, months ago. Just so you know.
This blog truly is ‘slicing edge’, as the kids say! Or is it ‘chopping edge’? I’ve no idea.

Robot or Human? Here’s ACTROID (link to article on Akihabara News)

Roger that, and drooling now

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But what if I want a different beverage, such as Dr pepper?

typed for your pleasure on 1 November 2005, at 1.10 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Rich people’ by the Hospitals

Well, I’ll be. You can purchase a (contemporary version of a) karakuri. Pretty ace!


‘Don’t forget the gratuity, onegai!’

An example of Japan’s first robot is the fascinating Karakuri: Tea Server, designed almost four centuries ago and today remains a remarkable example of Japan’s keen sense of robotics. What does it do? This Kabuki-styled doll approaches surprised guests with a full teacup on a tray; it stops walking when the teacup is taken, waits quietly, bows, then slowly turns around, smoothly scooting away with the empty teacup on its tray. [..] This kit is made of computer designed precision modern materials, but is as close to the original design as possible. The driving force of the original tea-carrying doll came from a spring made of whale whiskers (actually whale teeth). All the other components, such as its gears, body and escapement for speed adjustments, were made of wood. How does it work? When a tea cup is placed on the tray, the stopper is released by the whale spring attached to the doll’s arms; the spring forces the stopper to engage again when the cup is lifted from the tray.

(insert typical comment about Actroid-chan playing with one here)

The karakuri kit is available at this site, and additional info about the history of karakuri can be found here, at the aptly-named http://www.karakuri.info

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Your One-stop Gynoid Shrine

typed for your pleasure on 31 October 2005, at 2.35 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Rêve pour un Beatle’ by Paul Piot & Paul Guiot

So I’ve managed to find the new URL for the pages on the Osaka Labs site that deal with the development behind everyone’s my favourite Gynoid, Actroid-chan. Now, I think I’ve got this sussed..
Actroid is the Kokoro co. Ltd‘s marketing name for the Repliee series of Gynoids. There’s an updated version of Repliee Q1, named Repliee Q2, that made her debut at the recent Aichi World Expo, where she was given the name of Repliee Q1Expo. She’s the interviewer version also known as Ando-san, or, as one site had it, Anna-san. Then, there’s Kokoro’s Actroid DER, which is the standing version of.. Repliee Q2, I would assume. ARGH BRAIN BOILING OVER

So anyway, I’ve managed to find the new URL for the pages on the Osaka Labs site. They’ve got additional movies of Repliee Q2/Repliee Q1Expo/Ando-san/Anna-san/what the hell ever. I call her ‘Relentlessly Cute-san’.

Sigh. 🙂
O, where was I? Err, yeah! Also, anyone who can find me media files, or at least decent pics of Kobayashi Labs‘ SAYA, will have their name bestowed upon my first infant. SAYA-chan doesn’t get as much press as Actroid-chan because her technology isn’t as sophisticated, and, well.. she’s a wee bit less attractive.

But she’s doing her best, damnit, and we love her for it.

O, and Happy Pagan New Year!

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